I know that there are times, especially in the workplace, when we feel that people don’t see us. They don’t hear us. They don’t know us. They don’t acknowledge us. They don’t care about us. All they think about is what they want and what they need.
When something happens to us, in those spaces and something usually does, we need to be able to express that freely without being judged or perceived as weak b/c we’re reacting to something that was harsh, painful, or unjust.
See, everyone seems to be able to express themselves freely except people of color. If women of color express themselves outside of a “safe space” then they are called aggressive, angry, emotional, incompetent, inconsistent, and needy. Men are bottling up their emotions and depression, then some of them are committing suicide.
So, then what do we do? We stuff our emotions down. We continue on. We build up resentment. We take that anger out on the kids or other people. We ruminate on it… or sometimes, we kill ourselves. We ignore it. We pull other people into our lives to fill that void.
So, b/c we avoided problems in those unsafe spaces, we’ve now begun a war within. Here’s where you ask yourself, was it worth it? Was it worth it to keep silent? Now, it becomes a part of our troubled past, trauma, and baggage. Remember: “Hurt people, hurt people.”
The problem is that once it forms, it will appear somewhere in our lives. It will manifest at some point and it may look, feel, and be different than when it first formed.
Well, how do we figure out how to let go of these emotions that we cannot express in certain spaces or to certain people?
Well, I’m glad you asked…
We may talk it out with friends, family, or… in therapy. We pray about it. We meditate on it. CRY. We can write letters to the people that caused the pain, but don’t mail them. We can put that hurt/painful energy into something creative. Write a song. Write a book. Help other people, be of service to others in need.
I said all that to say this; everyone is capable of having emotions and sometimes emotions are not allowed in certain spaces and at certain times. The best thing to do, so that they don’t become forgotten or show up elsewhere in our lives, is to…
Get them out when you have a safe space to do so.
It’s not meant for us to live alone. It really does get tough sometimes, but people are out there that can help you. Everyone needs someone at some point. Reach out for help, it’s there. Just ask. ❤